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How to forget the past, live in the present and Not to think about future!!

Dwelling on the past or focusing on the future can make you lose sight of your present life. This can make your life quickly pass you by without enjoyment of the present. If you find yourself focusing too much on past events or trauma, or worrying about the future, there are some methods that can help you learn to live for today.

 

1.) Forgive and forget

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Focusing on who to blame for past hurts can spoil the present. Instead of dwelling on who has caused you pain, forgive them. Focus on present events and leave behind any blame or hurt your feel. If there is someone in your past that has hurt you, choose to forgive and forget. Festering in the pain doesn’t harm the person who hurt you and will cause you to stay in the past.

 

2.) Block your memories

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IF all attempts haven’t worked, try blocking or pushing aside your memories. This can help you get over bad memories with enough time. Plus, pushing the bad memories far enough into the back of your mind will help them bother you less. Envision yourself pushing the worries behind a door and locking it. Giving yourself a mental image will help, especially if th memories or worries are strong.

 

3.) Seek help from a mental health professional

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Many people in the society thinks if somebody consults a psychologist.. He/she is mad. But that’s not true. Look for a counsellor or program that specialises in trauma. You are in charge of your recovery and how and when it will take place. However you decide to pursue treatment, your program should offer these essential things. i.e. Empowerment, Validation, connection.

 

4.) Confide in someone you trust

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Talking about what happened to you is an important part of healing. Choose someone patient, kind and someone who knows that what happened to you is serious. Someone who responds with things like “just don’t think about it anymore’, “forgive and forget” or “that’s not so bad” is not an appropriate person to talk to.

 

5.) Change your routine

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One way you can get stuck in the past without knowing it is to get stuck in a routine. May be you do the same thing the same way every day or at the same time every week. While routine can be comforting, it can make you feel stuck and forget about the present all together. Instead, change up your routine. Walk a different way to the bus stop or drive a different way to work.

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Have you ever faced failure??Feel Depressed?? But no anymore!!

There is nobody  in the world who has never faced failure in the life. Of course, it is not the best feeling for anyone but some may take it so seriously that it may cause depression to them. The ‘thin’ line between being successful in life and failure lies under the “dealing with failure”. It is quite easy to say that “Don’t worry, try again” while on the contrary it is difficult as ‘learning Maths for a commerce student’.

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To encourage you all and to give a boost to your life, i will tell you something, which you may like. You all know Abraham Lincoln, BUT you do not know about him.

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‘FAILED’ in business in 1831.

‘DEFEATED’ for legislature in 1832.

‘FAILED’ again in business in 1833.

Suffered nervous break down in 1836.

‘DEFEATED’ for speaker in 1838.

‘DEFEATED’ for elector in 1840.

‘DEFEATED’  for congress in 1843.

‘DEFEATED’ again for congress in 1848.

‘DEFEATED’ for senate in 1855.

‘DEFEATED’ for vice-president in 1856.

‘DEFEATED’ again for senate in 1858.

“ELECTED PRESIDENT IN 1860 .”

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Tensed About Board Exams??Here are some tips to score more than 90% in Board Exams!!

There is a very common and frequent question, what are the tips and strategies to score well in the board exams? Undoubtedly, this  is a genuine question, every good student is always worried about their percentage in board exams as it will be a “PERMANENT LABEL” all over the  life; in every stage of life.

With all the experience I have, I be trying to give you important tips that will allow you all to attain “flying colors” in exams.

 

1.Defeat yourself

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Keep defeating yourself by scoring higher in the exams from the previous ones, your present has to be perfect than your past, in this way, you will surely be able to score high in your board exams. More than anything else, your target should be always to do better than you have done before.

2.Stick with your syllabus book- Mind It!!

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Yes, I have seen a number of students of mine running behind the big heavy weight reference books and they ‘UNDERESTIMATE’ their syllabus books like NCERT in case of CBSE board exams.

Reference books are good to study but only for those students who want to be a part of competitive exams after 12th. But if you want score high in 12th, only “NCERT BOOKS” are the best option  to refer.

 

3.Time Management

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In 12th class, you are not at all a kid now, you are very much aware about time management. Some key points of time management for board exams.

  • Study learning subjects like chemistry, biology, economics etc. in more time. This will help you to retain a long time memory of whatever you have learnt  while reading in the morning time.
  • In school, take advantage of free time like sports period and curricular activities. Practice logical subjects like maths, physics, accounts etc. Trust me, reading or practicing in free time of school will save a lot of time.
  • In last three months of your preparation, you should ‘NOT’ join or ‘CONTINUE’ things like coaching classes etc. Use that time in self-study. Trust me, you will understand things way better by doing self-study.

 

4.Solve Previous Papers

“Maano ya na Maano” previous year papers act like  a key to success in getting the mind blowing percentage in your 12th class. Don’t waste your money and money in buying such costly and heavy books. The internet is selling today where you can find anything, anytime.

Previous year papers are important because they will:

  1. Let you know the difficult level of the questions.

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Fear you face almost every year “Examfear”, Now you can deal with it!!

Exams are often considered a “BIG FEAR” factor among all the children. Students of all age groups do undergo exam anxiety and have “EXAM PHOBIA” when it is around the corner. Some do take it easy while some cannot. The extent of exam stress is too much that drives them to take extreme measures. The fear of exams is more before the exams causing them to under perform on that day. It’s worse when the students have elder brothers or sisters who have performed well and they are expected to keep the standards.

 

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Tips to overcome Exam Fear and Test anxiety:

 1.Start Revising Early

Students who start revising their portion early find that they can manage to answer without nay stress and exam pressure. It avoids panic at last moments. Preparing well ahead of exams will allow to focus on “DIFFICULT” topic s so that you can allocate time  for it.

2.Your On Timetable

As a student you are well aware of the subjects you need to work more on. It is not by the grades but by the length of material or depth of the content that you need to know about. Never ever try to copy time-table of friend because every individual has different situation , problem understanding level etc. Also, it should be also Realistic.

3.Chart Out

You know the number of chapters and which one is difficult to prepare. Make a rough sketch of the unit or chapters that you need to prepare. Then align those in sequence of priority against the days of week or the time-table you have to set  you can amend the time-table to suit your needs.

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4.Target for Day

It is quite very important because usually student may draft their studies on paper but unable to apply the same in  the real life. As you would have noted down the chapters or topics you need to revise, break down the chapters as against the days.

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FACING HURDLE IN YOUR CAREER DUE TO “NEGATIVE THOUGHTS”? NOW YOU DEAL WITH IT!!

Everyone, in the “RUNNING” life of all, always have some Negative thoughts which get stuck in your mind and does not allow you to concentrate core work. Every 3 out of 5 person faces this problem including me to. I am gonna share some ways to deal with it, myself had tried and been successful too.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the “Present moment”. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. That’s what one small negative thought can turn into a huge, speeding ball of ugliness.

Here’s are the tips you can try as the I had done too:-

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1.Forgive:

You might had a very ruining past, very dreadful but unless and until you will forgive that person, you are not going to get over it. You may think it is easy to say but difficult to implement, but it is damn sure, if you do that, definitely it will work for you.

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2.Meditate or Yoga:

One of the thing I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of Jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now- the only moment, the most important.

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3.Surround yourself with position people:

I called a friend who I know could give me constructive yet loving feedback . When you are stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

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4.Don’t play victim- Take Responsibility:

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

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How to react if you think someone is stalking you!!

Being stalked is a frightening experience that leaves a person feeling terrorized and powerless. Aproximately, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 13 men in INDIA victims of stalking in their lifetimes and usually the victims know the perpetrator. If you think you ae being stalked you can take some steps to stay safe and build a case your stalker. Remember, always call 100 if you can feel you are in immediate danger or you believe you are being followed.

METHOD 1: CEASING COMMUNICATION

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1)Avoid Communication with stalker

A stalker’s behaviour makes them feel they have power over you. If you provide them with any reaction, feeling them to leave you alone, they have successfully manipulated you into getting you to respond to them. Never respond or react to them.

  • Do not respond to any of their texts, emails or website comments. Instead, save all of their communications for evidence.
  • If you see the stalker, try not to show any reaction. The stalker wants to see you react to know they have calm exterior, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Their behaviour is not your fault.

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2)Take all threats seriously

If the stalker has directly-indirectly threatened to harm you, believe them. Contact law enforcement immediately and makes plans to be safe.

  • Make sure you reused and report all details of the threat once you are in safe pace.
  • A stalker may also threaten suicide in order to manipulate you, particularly if you are previously in R/S with them. If this happens contact law enforcement. Do not allow  yourself to be manipulated.

METHOD 2:GETTING SUPPORT FROM FAMILY & FRIENDS

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1)Inform others of yours situations

One of the most important things you can do it is to let people know about the stalking. Sharing your concerns with people you trust will gain you a much needed network of support the people will also to able to keep an eye and for you and help keep you safe.

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“INSULTING SESSIONS” faced by you??…NOW you can deal with it.

Insults can be hurtful, especially when you do not know how to deal with them. Building and showing your confidence after someone insults your confidence after someone insults you is not always easy, but when you can manage to do so it was shows that you are in control of your thought and feelings. Practice building confidence in the face of an insult by showing composure immediately thereafter, bolstering your overall confidence in the long-term and dismissing recurring bullies in your life.

METHOD 1: COPING IMMEDIATELY

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  1. Take a deep breath: Designate a moment for yourself to refocus by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Turn your thoughts away from external criticism and back toward yourself. Close your eyes, and focus on breathing slowly and steadily until you feel less overwhelmed.
  • To keep your mind on your breathing, try inhaling for a count of three, holding your breath for a count of two and exhaling for a count of three. Repeat as necessary.
  • You may also want to find a place to sit down or rest your body for a minute while you refocus.

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  1. Evaluate the insult: Take a moment to think critically about what the person said. Is there is any truth to it? Is there a reason, such as previous conflict, why this person might want to try to intentionally hurt your feeling?
  • For those parts of the insult you find to be true, acknowledge that it is ok to be imperfect. Know that all people have flaws, and it is acceptable to evaluate and work on them.
  • For those parts of the insult that you don’t find true, remind yourself that they are not factual and do not reflect you.
  • Tell yourself a personal truth to counteract the insult. For example, someone says, “you are stupid” remind yourself of work or academic accomplishments such as graduating at the top of your class or getting a coveted promotion.

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  1. Avoid returnig insult: It can be tempting to match insult for insult. Ultimately, though whatever your goal is be it to get through a presentation or simply to keep enjoying time with friends or family, it is best served by refusing to engage whomever insulted you.
  • Remind yourself that the it ultimately does no good for you to insult someone in return.
  • Tell yourself, “The best way to upset this person is not to insult them in return, but to let them know their words have no impact on me”.

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  1. Regain Composure: Do not be afraid to excuse yourself momentarily , or otherwise pause and calm yourself to regain composure. It is normal to have a negative reaction to an insult, and those around you will understand if you need a moment to collect yourself.

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Being Made Fun of: Here’s way to COMBAT it

Everyone has to deal with teasing from time to time but some people are forced to deal with teasing on a more consistent basics. Bullying can be very hurtful and in some situations can cause negative psychological effects to the victims. You must find ways to ignore and confront the bully it is important to find appropriate ways to cope with bullying in order to live a happy and healthy life.

 

METHOD 1: IGNORING THE BULLY

 

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1.) Disregard the teasing: Unless it becomes a routine problem, if someone makes fun of you the best way to handle th situations is by ignoring the teasing altogether. By ignoring the bully you are denying them the attention that they are seeking by making fun of you. They are likely to get bored and leave you alone.

  • When someone starts to tease you, don’t give them the attention that they are seeking. Continue to do what you were doing and act like you didn’t hear them.

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2.) Walk away from bully: If ignoring the bully does not work, consider walking away from the situation. While this still denies the bully the attention that they were seeking , it also sends a clear signal that you will not tolerate being teased. This will also prevent you from haying to hear what the bully has to say.

  • If someone starts to pick on you while you are at you locker at school, grab the books that you need and go class.
  • When a co-worker is making fun of you in the office, find something else to do. Go to a different room to work, grab a cup of coffee, or take a trip to restroom. The bully will be likely to work by the time you return.

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3.) Find an outlet: If persistent teasing is getting you down consider finding an emotional outlet. Exercise can help you release built up anger and stress, it can also be a great confidence booster.

  • Take up boxing or kung fu to release some built up aggression.
  • Yoga or distance running are great outlets to manage stress and clear your head.

METHOD 2 : CONFRONTING THE BULLY

1.) Firmly ask them to stop teasing you: Sometimes ignoring a bully does not put an end to the bullying. It is important to stand up for yourself when someone is making fun of you. Be sure to make eye contact with your bully while you firmly ask them to stop teasing you.

  • Make your statements short and to the point.
  • Say something like, “I don’t appreciate you making fun of me. Please Stop.”
  • Stay calm when you confront your bully . Being emotional or crying could FUEL the bullying.

2.) Take a humorous approach: Most bullying can be hurtful in the moment but really  won’t matter of weeks or months. If you understand how insignificant how insignificantly the teasing really is, try to respond to the teasing with humor.

  • Be witty or exaggerate the bully’s comments.

3.) Seek help from an adult: If you are child or teenager and need help to stop someone from bullying you, it is okay to ask an adult for help. Bullying is very serious and is not tolerated in most schools. Ask a teacher, coach, parent or other trusted adult to help you handle the situation.

  • Most schools have anti-bullying policies and will take disciplinary measures to ensure the safety of each of their students.
  • Be president, IF one adult does not take your concerns seriously , talk to a different adult. You have the right to feel safe.
  • Be prepared to give specific examples, you want the adult to understand that they are bullying you, and not that you are tatting on them.
  • If the bully is a family member, consider asking another family member to help. They may be able to talk to your bully privately to put an end to the teasing.

 

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